The Art of Engaging Your Networks | Fundraising Self-Identification Exercise

Openers (start with curiosity):

• “I’d love to understand what issues you’re most passionate about right now — where do you see the biggest challenges?”
• “Before I share what we’re doing, can you tell me what has mattered most in your giving recently?”
• “What originally drew me to this work is X. I noticed you share a similar passion — could we explore this over lunch?”
• “For me, the future hinges on justice and inclusion. I’m curious — what core belief drives your vision of the future?”

Asks (based on what they’ve shared):

• “If I were to ask you to make a transformational gift of $X, what would you need to know to feel confident saying yes?” 
• “If I invited you to join our Impact Circle, what would you need to know to feel ready to say yes?”
• “What would it need to look like for you to invest in proven solutions at this crucial moment?”

CONNECTOR – Door-Opener, Enthusiastic, Builds Relationships

Hosting gatherings for the organization, assembling host committees for larger events, putting people and ingredients in place for optimal outcomes. Bring enthusiasm to conversations about your organization and its mission, drawing people in with passion and vision.

Openers (lead with their world):

• “I’ve been on this powerful journey with [Org], and it’s been transformative. In a recent conversation with our Founder/Board Chair about [X], I immediately thought of you because [Y].”
• “I’ve been on a powerful journey with [Org], and it made me think of you because…”
• “What’s inspiring you most right now in the causes you support?”

Asks (invite partnership):

• “It sounds like you’re deeply committed to [what they named]. Would you be open to meeting our Founder to explore alignment?” 
• “I sincerely believe being part of the Impact Circle could be a powerful journey for you too. Would you be open to meeting with the Founder and me to explore how it connects with your vision?”
• “I hold a vision — and [Org] holds the key to realizing it — of a day when (example: all women are given equal opportunities to thrive). I’d love to connect you with our leadership to see if this mission also resonates with you. Can I set that up in the coming weeks?”

NURTURER – Steward, Relational, Heart-Centered

Generally hide under the table during fundraising conversations; however, very heart-centered, great stewards of existing relationships. The truth is: there is a lot of funding in loving your donors. Expand your organization’s network by deepening relationships with existing funders (leading to increased, unrestricted, or multi-year funding) and encouraging supporters to open their networks with a “soft ask.”

If there is great discomfort in making any form of ask, name it:

• “This is the part that makes me very uncomfortable, but it’s also the most sacred part of my role. So I’m going to take a deep breath and do it anyway.”
  Naming discomfort sets both you and the funder free, releasing tension that is often present anyway. Authenticity and integrity must be the foundation here.

Openers (affirm and invite stories):

• “You’ve been such a steady supporter — what’s been most meaningful for you in your relationship with [Org]?” 
• “We just came off of an amazing board retreat, and I’m deeply moved by the stories of transformation. May I share some that touched my heart and are changing so many lives — including my own?”
• “I had a conversation with a fellow board member about this work, and it lit up for me why this matters so deeply — both personally and globally. I’d love to share what surfaced for me, and I’m curious what’s been surfacing for you lately around this issue.”

Asks (gentle, co-created):

• “I want to invite you to join me, but I’m not sure how to proceed. Based on what we’ve discussed, where do you see yourself?”
• “What would it need to look like for you to join me in bringing about [mission/vision] within our lifetimes?”
• “I would love to invite you to join us, but I want to be transparent. The minimum for the Impact Circle is $10,000 per year for 3 years, while some choose to contribute $25,000. Based on all we’ve discussed, where do you see yourself?”

Closing Thoughts

Every board member has a role in fundraising. Whether you lean toward asking, connecting, or nurturing, your authentic style is your greatest asset. The key is not to force yourself into someone else’s mold, but to show up with curiosity, courage, and commitment to the mission.

Keep these principles front and center as you engage:

• 70/30 Rule – The supporter should be doing most of the talking. Listen deeply.
• Lead with Curiosity – Begin with genuine questions about their passions, priorities, and hopes.
• Informed Invitations Only – Move to an ask only once you understand their motivations and alignment.
• Equal Partnership – Fundraising is not about convincing; it’s discerning together whether there’s a shared fit.
• Authenticity Wins – Use language that feels natural to you. When you are real, you build trust.

When boards embrace these principles, fundraising shifts from obligation to opportunity — from pressure to partnership. Together, you unlock not only resources, but deeper relationships that sustain the mission for the long term.